


Sherl̶o̶c̶k̶ free Assange!

by Tereon



Category: Die Anstalt (TV) RPF, Political RPF, Political RPF - German 21st c., Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, a german satire series made a parody, but this is important, just me wirting subtitels, subtitels, this is about Julien Assange, this is not actual fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tereon/pseuds/Tereon
Summary: This is are Subtitels to a German satire show which made a parody of Sherlock. I (hopefully) will write the subtiles in my school/online English and with the help of google translator. Please correct me if I make any mistakes.They are a satire show and criticized the thing happening around Assange. It is an important topic, especially in case of freedom of the press.
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes & Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Die Anstalt - Julian Assange](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/754113) by Max Uthoff, Anny Hartmann, Nils Heinrich, Frank Lüdecke, Jan Philipp Zymny, Dietrich Krauss. 



> I am to lazy to translate it in one go. So here is the prologue...  
> I also recommend watching the original. I hope the link workes...

Merz: “So you are the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes. Then you must be his assistant Watson. I say it to you now, I don’t have anything against gay detectives. As long as it is under the law… so the children, so as long as all of them… on a Coaster… I think… I need help.”

Sherlock: “Could you clarify this a little?”

Merz: “It is about the future of Germany, in which more and more people get used to doing nothing… Especially in… äh… my party.”

Watson: “Who the hell is this, Sherlock?”

Words appear around Mers’ head: _“Earlier moped. Now two airplanes.” “’economic expert’ failed at WestLB” “Ex supervisory board of Blackrock” “Bad at loosing” “Bad haircut” “Bad parody”_

Sherlock: “The man is called Friedrich Merz and wants to be next chancellor of Germany.

Merz: “I will succeed if you help me get the stones out of the way. And when I say stones, I obviously mean my problems. And when I say problems, I obviously mean my competitors.”

Sherlock: “You want us to get rid of Jens Spahn and Armin Laschet?”

Merz: “No. They’ll get rid of themselves. Competitor is for me somebody who looks next to all inability even more vain and ambitious than me.”

Sherlock: “You ask us to get rid of Markus Söder?”

Watson: “That is absolutely impossible.”

Sherlock: “How should we do that?”

Merz: “Let it look like an accident…”

Sherlock: “Should we, as part of the space mission “Bavaria One”, put two igniters up is butt and shoot him as a human rocket into the orbit?”

Merz: “Would that be possible?”

Sherlock: “Boring. Watson, come on. I don’t care what sausage is going to be the next chancellor of the krauts. There is bigger evil we need to deal with.”

Watson: “Really? But he would have paid.”

Sherlock: “Come now. The game, Watson, is on.”


	2. The bigger Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one... I would really recommend watching the show alongside whit these subtitles...

Watson: “Where are we Sherlock? Is this the bigger evil?”

Sherlock: “Wait.”

Words appear around Mycroft’s head: _“Mycroft, strange Name.” “Works in British Government (USA)” “Wears boxershorts with flowers” “Likes spice girls” “Older Brother!!!”_

Sherlock: “Let’s say, this is my brother.”

Mycroft: “Sherlock, who is this?”

Sherlock: “Watson, my new assistant. Watson, you wait outside.”

Watson: “How long?”

Sherlock: “Until you have your next line. And yes, that could take a while. Mycroft, I would like you to use your connections to the government and the secr…”

Mycroft: “Oh…”

Sherlock: “to the government and the secret service to let ‘him’ live save and peacefully again.”

Mycroft: “He? Who are you talking about?”

Sherlock: “Well, the newspapers are full of him. The government is shaking of his exposures and certain circles try everything to get rid of him.”

Mycroft: “Sherlock, brother mine. That I still can experience this. You and I on the same side?”

Sherlock: “The man is in risk of life.”

Mycroft: “I heard he recovered.”

Sherlock: “But they won’t stop until they get him.”

Mycroft: “I know. These war criminals don’t like when their misdeeds get attention.”

Sherlock: “Well, what kind of war criminal would like this. They arrested him with fragile reasons and put him into prison.”

Mycroft: “I know, I saw the pictures. That’s how the state wants to silence the critics. But our patience is over, Sherlock. We think about strong sanctions.”

Sherlock: “Are you serious, Mycroft? England wants to impose sanctions against the USA?”

Mycroft: “Sherlock, did you suck your breakfast with a straw through your nose again? Sanctions against Russia of cause.”

Sherlock: “Because of Assange?”

Mycroft “Because of Nawalny.”

Sherlock: “But I’m here because of Assange.”

Mycroft: “Really? This traitor? Who uploaded secret information onto Wikileaks?”

Sherlock: “I though you admire the revelation of government crimes?”

Mycroft: “Of cause – of Russia”

Sherlock: “And in the west?”

Mycroft: “Hm, you can’t compare these things.”

Sherlock: “Because you would notice it is almost the same.”

Mycroft: “Assange, in contrary to Nawalny, isn’t in a life-threatening situation.”

Sherlock: “Why? In America is on revealing secret information the death penalty too.”

Mycroft: “But he will only be handed over if they don’t kill him.”

Sherlock: “Then Russia is more humane. The death penalty doesn’t exist there.”

Mycroft: “That’s why they have to poison their regime critics. Cruel thing, right?”

Sherlock: “What would you prefer? Poisoned through Nowitschok or executions through Pentobarbital?”

Mycroft: “When we kill, brother mine, we do it for a good reason. We might commit crimes but we aren’t criminals. Here is the prove.”

Sherlock: “Are you joking? You know I don’t forget pictures. That is the start of the video which Assange and Wikileaks published. When this isn’t showing a crime why is it titled ‘Collateral Murder’?”

Mycroft: “Maybe because more people might watch it then. It seems like you aren’t that unbiased.”

Sherlock: “Ok, then let’s show the video to somebody who isn’t. Watson!”

Mycroft: “Watson, what are you seeing here?” Video plays. “And Watson? What are you seeing her?”

Watson: “Civilians are being shot at without warning. That is a war crime.”

Sherlock: “Brilliant Watson. You should do something with detective. I just noticed that these are recordings of a MG-Boardcamera of a Apache Attack Helicopter Hughes AH 64 type of the US-Troops. Areas of application Iraq al-Dschadida, eastern Baghdad. Point in time: Because of the shadow casting on July 12, 2007, 9:50 am. He is shooting from a distance of 400 m at group of civilians among them two journalists of the agency ‘Reuters’ with 30 mm armor-piercing ammunition even though it is apparently about human lives. Or with the word of my assistant:”

Watson: “A war crime.”

Sherlock: “What else do you want to know? The root of nine?”

Watson: “Three.”

Mycroft: “Nothing is more deceptive than an obvious fact.”

Watson: “Not three?”

Mycroft: “How can it be a war crime if the perpetrators are US-soldiers who never got punished. You judge about a small passage but more important is the context. If you would only show Hiroshima of the second world war, what would be the atomic bombing?”

Watson: “An illegal aggressive war from the USA and therefor a war crime.”

Sherlock: “The context, I forgot the context. What was the context of the Iraq war?”

Watson: “An illegal aggressive war from the USA. Have I said war crime yet?”

Mycroft: “A crime on a criminal is not a crime. It was a war of liberation against a despot.”

Sherlock: “But the war against Hussein was over 2003. With what right massacred four years later a helicopter crew eleven civilians?”

Mycroft: “The liberation became a civil war in which innocent mothers and siblings tragically died. And when somebody empathize how it is when something happens to a brother, then me.

Sherlock: “Mycroft, I’d rather feel a 30mm bulled in me than have your pity. This isn’t a collateral damage. With good reasoning is the video titled ‘Collateral Murder’”

Mycroft: “The US-Soldiers were in a dangerous combat situation.”

Sherlock: “Really? According to the protocol was this combat situation that somebody in the neighborhood heard 30 minutes earlier shooting.”

Mycroft: “Right, two of the civilians seemed to carry weapons.”

Sherlock: “Only two of 10? In Texas this would be a demonstration for freedom.”

Watson: “Civilians were permitted to carry weapons in Iraq. That’s the advantage when you are being freed by America.”

Sherlock: “Also the second weapon is a Canon-EOS-digital camera from the journalist of ‘Reuters’.”

Mycroft: “That could have been a bazooka.”

Sherlock: “That was not possible, it was to small.”

Mycroft: “That’s why the Americans shoot form so far away. To be able to confuse these things.” Video plays.

Sherlock: “But they could notice that the people were ‘bastards’?”

Mycroft: “Of cause, the Americans recognize them by shooting them.”

Sherlock: “Were the journalists of ‘Reuters’ ‘bastards’ too?”

Mycroft: “Yes, because they didn’t try to make themselves recognizable.”

Sherlock: “What should they have done? Aim their press pass at the sky? The helicopter was half a kilometer over them.”

Mycroft: “One of them survived.”

Sherlock: “A few minutes until a van came to rescue them.” Video plays.

Watson: “You know how you call it when you shoot at injured people?”

Sherlock: “Say it Watson.”

Watson: “War crime.”

Mycroft: “Not if there was a suspicion that in the vehicle were weapons.”

Sherlock: “But there were two children inside of the van.”

Mycroft: “Yes if they would have suspected children inside, they wouldn’t be allowed to shoot.”

Sherlock: “The driver was on their way to school with the children.”

Mycroft: “It’s pretty impossible for every US-soldier to know every way to school in Bagdad.”

Sherlock: “Mycroft, only at this attack eleven civilian were murdered.”

Mycroft: “Sherlock, the US-Army can kill up to 30 civilians at an attack. Low collateral damage.”

Sherlock: “And who allowed this the US-Army?”

Mycroft: “Hm. The US-Army.”

Sherlock: “Just wanted to hear it from you. And without Assange and the reveals of Wikileaks we wouldn’t know about this bizarre logic.”

Mycroft: “Wikileaks has exposed our secret war techniques and with that endangered human lives.”

Sherlock: “But the Iraqis were already dead.”

Mycroft: “American lives.”

Watson: “So Wikileaks has raised the numbers of war deaths because of the exposure of the US-Iraq-War-diaries suddenly 15,000 dead civilians appear who before didn’t exist?”

Mycroft: “Exactly. These deaths also go to Assange. What kind of human he is? Maybe these videos seem to be so disturbing because we didn’t discredit the source enough. Maybe you should deal with the human Assange, Sherlock.”


End file.
